I know some people who are huge zombie movie fans. I am not. Night of the Living Dead is a classic, 28 Days Later was really great (the sequel terrible), and Shaun of the Dead hilarious. But lets not get carried away, people.
Anyway, having undoubtedly alienated some readers, I'll get to the point. Researchers in Canada have leveraged mathematics to determine that if zombies did exist, civilation would end as we know it. From the BBC:
'If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively...They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.'
You might be wondering why I highlight this waste of valuable research dollars (of the loonie variety); because the excercise actually informs the spread and containment of real threats like the H1N1 virus. As the article notes:
'In some respects, a zombie 'plague' resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.'
Now back to the absurd: commenting on the study conducted by Professor Robert Smith? and colleagues (no folks, that is not a typo, the guy's name is actually Smith?, question mark included, and thereby destined from birth to ponder the stranger things in life), Professor Neil Ferguson, an advisor to the UK government on the spread of swine flu:
'My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days.'
If you carry one thing into the weekend, it should be this: if ever confronted by zombies, go straight for the jugular.
